I have always been fascinated by aeroplanes. There is something wonderful about being able to fly on silent wings, to look down at the patchwork of fields and hedges, and wonder where the hell you are going to land due to a lack of a; thermals and b; planning. The field you had chosen to lob into now has a herd of cattle in it, let out after milking. Now, cows are quite placid beasts. Well usually. However, landing a glider amongst them is not usually going to end well. Even if you avoid the perambulating milk bars, and pull off a good landing (Definition: A good landing is one you walk away from. A really good landing; the a/c is reusable) there are additional problems. Cows are nosy. Fact. Hence the expression. A fully grown cow weighs a lot, (moos a lot too. Ok, I am being polite here) and having one walking on your wing does tend to scratch the gel-coat. Unless your a/c is wood and fabric. Then she will not only put her hoofs through the wing, but she will probably eat it. They love the taste of the dope. All the fabric is doped, so if you can imagine a 'Keil Kraft' model being unmade by a herd of cows, you have just about grasped the enormity of the problem. Running out of height and ideas, I landed in the adjacent ploughed field.
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